Cat Fight

Grant lives on T.V. dinners. And his room looks like a bomb went off in it. A musty stink bomb from the smell of it. The floor is littered with dirty clothes and empty pizza boxes (I guess he does eat more than T.V. dinners after all). I only know this because I went into his room to check on his cat that had been jumped by my cat on Sunday afternoon.

I was just waking up from a nap in front of the T.V. in the living room when I heard the commotion. Hissing, spitting, yowling, and then CRASH, BANG, BOOM… they were tumbling over the floor, the littlest one just trying to make her escape, but my girl wouldn’t have it. I had to take a nose dive under the piano to break up the fight with my bare hands. I came out of it without a scratch on me, just bruised knees from hitting the floor.

Grant, who’d been watching football in the other room hobbled in on a gimpy foot.

“Is everything okay?”

“No. You should check your cat to see if she’s hurt,” I said out of breath with a pounding heart.

It seems the youngster had no problems at all, but my old cat required a trip to the vet to be pumped with pain meds and antibiotics. I guess she’s not the hell raiser she used to be.

In the meantime, Tyler and I had our own passive aggressive cat fight going on. We’d both signed up for this “yoga” workshop that turned out to be more of a Hare Krishna recruiting session. It was meant to be a weekend long “bootcamp for the soul,” but after a full Saturday of horse shit and incessant chanting of “hare hare hare,” (har-ray)I decided to duck out on Sunday. Tyler made it passive aggressively clear that she was unhappy with me.

“I think I’m going to pass on bootcamp today,” I sent via text in the morning.

She never bothered to respond and when I crossed her path in the evening I only got a surly “hey” out of her. So I just ignored her for a day and now we are speaking again. We were instructed by our guru to chant “hare hare hare” for eleven minutes straight everyday with arms stretched overhead. I’ve been listening to see if she’s going to do it, but I haven’t heard a peep.

When he gave us the instructions I looked at her and said “Our roommates are going to think we are soooo weird!”

“If they don’t already,” she said.

Hmph.