Tyler’s On The Shit List Now

Considering Tyler didn’t seem to have a problem listening to Grant’s hissy fit the other day when apparently both of them were unaware of my presence, I thought I would consult her this afternoon about the most recent ruckus in the night. She was sitting in the dining nook having some food as I was making some tea. After she was finished complaining about a bad shoe shopping experience I made my move.

“Grant is driving me crazy. Did you hear the loud crash last night around midnight? It woke up me AND Francine and I was in a dead sleep.”

“No,” she said, “and I don’t want to be in middle of it.”

“Well, after he had his hissy fit the other night I’m reluctant to approach him again.”

This is somewhat true – I thought since they seem to be so chummy she could mention it to him and he might take it better from her without having a complete fucking meltdown.

“Hissy fit?” She said with a dear in the headlights look on her face.

“Yea, you know, the other night when he was bitching to you?”

“Oh, you heard that…?”

“Um yea, I guess he didn’t think I was in the house.”

And by her reaction she didn’t either because then she started babbling some stuff about it not being okay to leave notes like that but she told him that it was between him and me. Clearly more was said than that because it went on for quite sometime, and now she was feeling sheepish. Of course her voice doesn’t carry like his, but judging by her reaction she had said some things she hadn’t intended for me to hear.

“Now I have to go out and buy and fucking white noise machine and put felt pads under all the fucking chairs so I can get some sleep. I haven’t had one good fucking night’s sleep without sedating myself into a stupor since he moved in!”

I continued my rant “He lies!! When I interviewed him I asked him specifically what his habits were because there have been problems with past roommates making a lot of noise late at night and he told me ‘oh, yea, I stay up late but I’m just in my bed writing on my laptop.’ And that shit about him not being able to get the internet in his room? Bullshit!!”

“Yea, that’s a little weird,” she agreed. “But, this has been a problem for you in the past and you know you’re sensitive to noise, so it’s obviously you, and you have to take responsibility for it.”

My mouth gaped open.

“Oh, okay, so I should be okay with this,” I slammed the kitchen door, “at midnight?? And what the fuck is going on in the dining room? The chairs are all over the place and there’s a drill on the table. What is this, a fucking garage?”

I was indignant.

“Nobody even uses that room, so what does it matter?” she argued.

“It matters because it’s fucking inconsiderate! If you move something, put it back the way you found it!”

This was the first time she and I had ever had “words,” so I had no idea what the hell was going on. We go to kirtan and yoga together – we’re pals, or so I thought.

“It is unreasonable for four people to live in a house and expect that a chair can’t be left askew!”

Now she was just being a bitch. There is a big difference in a chair being askew and having all of them scattered all over the room as if it is his personal romper room.

“Okay, Tyler. I’m just going to leave it, ok?”

I picked up my tea and started for the stairs to my room. She slammed her spoon into her plate and let out an exasperated sigh.

Bitch.