Bi-Polar Express

I started the day by getting in touch with my softer side and making a conscious decision to treat Slum with the compassion and respect all living beings deserve - even if said living being is an annoying pain in the ass. When I entered the kitchen she was, as usual, sitting at the table. I said good morning. She responded in an equally courteous manner. We had what I would consider a positive conversation about art and creative living.

On my return home in the evening she was STILL in the kitchen. For ****’s sake! Does this woman have a life? Does she ever leave the house?? She claims that she went to the gym. She doesn’t look like someone that frequents a gym…. In any event, she was not quite as warm as she’d been in the morning. While she was responsive, she seemed annoyed by my presence in the kitchen. She soon after took her pot of tea and bowl of Special K to her bedroom.

About an hour later Mariana came home and she too went upstairs. There was radio silence for about half and hour. I went into the kitchen to wash up my dishes when I suddenly heard a buffalo coming through the door behind me. Alas, it was only Slum with Mariana trailing closely behind.

“Hey Dude!” She yelled as she came at me with a stupid grin and dirty dishes.

“Hey…,” I said, slightly frightened.

“OK… WE ARE SO HIGH!”

Mariana just stood there looking at me, as if she was concerned about my reaction to pot smoking in the house. I think she thinks I’m some sort of naïve nun or something. She has no idea.

“Um… Wow, yea, it would appear so…” I said to them both.

They broke into laughter, because everything was just so…funny?

“I just got off the phone with Raaaaaaaj,” and she leaned towards my face with wide eyes as if I should be impressed. “He is sooooooo gorgeous! Raj.”

“That’s great. That’s exactly what men should be, right? Gorgeous.”

My dry humor is lost on her.

“He’s a leeeeeeo! Raj!”

I felt like I was having a conversation with Stewie from Family Guy, except there was much less intelligence involved. I watched them devour a whole baguette with olive oil and balsamic vinegar and then I had to step away from the stupidity.