Router this Bitch!

Things were pretty copasetic with Slum last night. Although she didn’t even let Tamiko’s body get cold before she started tossing things out of the kitchen. It makes no difference to me as long as she isn’t tossing my stuff. I was in a good mood so I offered her one of my roasted beets and we sat at the kitchen table like civilized human beings.

Since she moved in and attached her Vonage crap to our wireless router we have had problems with the system crashing. The internet stopped working yesterday afternoon and when I got home today it was still down, so I took my laptop to the source, unplugged the router, and put the cable directly into my computer to check my email. The phone rang and it was the owner of the house, Kristina, who I am really fond of, and we ended up chatting for a good while.

When I got off the phone I went upstairs to check out the paint swatches I’m considering for my new room when I encountered an irritated Slumdog.

“Is the wireless down again?” she asked in an irritated tone.

“It seems that way. I had to plug it directly into my computer to check my email.”

There is a window opening between my new room and the office where the wireless router is located. I could see her messing around with the wires while I was holding my paint swatches up to the wall.

“This is my new office!” I chirped, quite happy with myself.

Then she looked up with a snarl on her face.

“I have wasted an hour trying to fix this problem. Why did you leave the cable connected to your computer? You should have put it back as soon as you were done! I wasted an hour messing with this!”

I was taken aback by the overreaction and indignation at something that was just not a big deal. Not to mention that an hour was a complete exaggeration. It was half an hour at best, and I had gone without an internet connection for nearly 24 hours.

“WHAT?”

“I have wasted an hour on this!” She barked again.

Just last night she was bragging to me about how she could help me out with my math homework because she is good with math and has a very logical brain.

“Well, I guess you should have used your logic to follow the cable to see that it was connected to my computer!”

This did not go over well.

“I am not logical brained person!” She yelled back at me.

“You were last night!” You idiot!

“You shouldn’t complain about anyone in this house being inconsiderate. YOU are the most inconsiderate person in this house!” She barked.

“Oh please… Shut up! It’s over. Get over it. Be present”

She muttered something else as I was walking away.

“You know…, I said to her, “You should watch your Ps and Qs because I’m pretty sure Kristina wouldn’t be too happy that there are a couple of potheads here smoking pot in the house”

Ha! Childish perhaps, but oh it got her goat!

“Oh whatever.” She said.

I returned downstairs where Tamiko’s boyfriend was picking up the last of her things. I chatted with him for a while and then went back upstairs to get my computer. When I was going back downstairs she asked if I had a minute. I figured she wanted to have a little “let’s talk and work this out” session.

“No. Actually I don’t.”

“I just want to show you how to fix the router if it goes down again.

I started to say okay and then she said something else in a surly tone.

“Ya know what. Not now. There is a little too much hostility. You can show me later when you’ve stopped being a complete bitch!”

Tamiko’s boyfriend heard my comment and gave me a smirk as I was descending the stairs. Slumdog was still yelling after me.

“Oh I guess you can tell Aunt Kristina! I don’t care!”

“Oh… whatever. SHUT UP!

“I guess you can see there is lots of love in this house,” I said to Tamiko’s boyfriend.

“I love it,” he said facetiously. “I love drama!”

“Well, there is PLENTY of it here…”

Oh, if she wasn’t on my shit list yet. You can bet she is now.